I’m seriously considering becoming a follower of a conspiracy theory. I don’t really care which one. It just seems that those people have a life that is so much easier. If the economy goes down the drain, blame the Illuminati. If there’s an earthquake causing a oil leak, blame the Illuminati. If your keys are lost, blame the Illuminati. Never again are things subject to chaos or uncontrollable circumstances. Your self-chosen conspiracy theory has the solution for everything. I would pick out a theory that doesn’t have a deadline though. Imagine being a preparer for doomsday last December 21st. Not only are the days leading up to ‘the event’ probably not that uplifting in the first place, but as a weird sort of anti-climax, your whole believe system shatters after a depressing count down.
A second very good reason to pick a conspiracy is the look on people’s faces. I have noticed how the most dedicated followers have no trouble linking their beliefs to every single conversation. I love to see the reactions on my colleague’s faces when they have agreed to have a meeting the following week and I just say: ‘Yeah, well, that’s if you believe in a chronological order of time anyway.’ Awkward silence, mic drop, putting on the aluminium foil hat and walk away.
What’s your favorite conspiracy theory?